Friday, July 31, 2009

Apache Blessing

Thank you Lane, for sending this!

“May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being. May you walk through the world and know its beauty all the days of your life”. – Apache Blessing
Something tells me that you are already living the message of this Apache blessing. Some days will be easier than others, but the seed has been planted and there’s no going back to who you once were—your spirit being is awakening.
I hope you have a beautiful day. Lane

Thursday, July 30, 2009

I heart Christiane Northrup - Click on this link to see why :-)

"Have the courage to get well, be well, and stay well, because in doing so, you're transforming the world one person at a time."
~Christiane Northrup
Yesterday was another lazy day. I'm starting to watch a lot of Oprah now. DVR, gotta love it!

Everyday, I'm in awe of my family and friends. Everyone has been so thoughtful. Merri & Allison stopped by, with bags of groceries, OMG. What a surprise! LeeAnn and Alan stopped by the day before w/ dinners. And today, Owen and Jeanette made the trip down to SD from OC. with 5bls of Pollo Asada and Carne Asada. The mailman came w/ more cards. The comments you've all left mean more to me than you'll ever know. And CWSL, Chrissy and Louise, Thank you!!! I'm so inspired by the shower of love and support! I love you all!

So, regarding the hat. . . it was really cute when I saw it on Monday. But I didn't feel the love yesterday, when I was willing to buy it. Instead, I went upstairs and bought a really cute green jacket. It will be perfect for when it gets cold. . . in 5 months! LOL! But still, it's so cute. And green is the color I'm focusing on.

We hope to get a new computer in a week or so. When that happens, I'll add some pictures and more songs. Can't do that w/ this old computer.

I'm feeling pretty good today. Just a little sore. Looking forward to seeing Ressa tomorrow and having (hopefully, fingers crossed) the drains removed. Then on Monday, another big day. I'm having a PET scan at 9:30am. Seems like a good idea; having this done at this stage of the game to have a marker. But still, I'm nervous. I'm focused on the scan coming back clear.

Sarah and her daughters will be in town on Sunday night. Looking forward to seeing them.

Love and hugs. Nancy

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Simple things . . .

Yesterday, my mother-in-law took me to Fashion Valley to walk around. While in Nordstrom, I remembered about my "prescription" in the lingerie department for a camisole. KP had faxed it over a week or so ago and I've been curious. What is this all about? I soon learned... this cami is so soft, perfect for this stage in my recovery. I was offered a few different cup size pads. I went for the full B. Why not? Smile. My nearly an A size are behind me. The lady at Nordstrom came in the dressing room to assist me in trying these cami's on. I didn't know what to think of that. Does she know what she's about to see? Only Jeff has seen me so far. . . I asked, I'll be OK, and she said not to worry, that she's seen this before and that she's there to help me. That brought tears to my eyes. I was so impressed with her professional attitude and compassion. I walked out of Nordstrom's with two cami's and two really cute cotton dresses. I'm going back today because there was this hat, calling my name. :-)

The boys are hanging with friends today, maybe at the beach. I'm hoping to get closer in getting a new computer. Our PC crashed a few weeks ago and I've been working on an OLD 98 PC. Crashes pretty much every 5 minutes. Then takes 10 minutes to reboot. Starting to get on my nerves.

I see Ressa on Friday. The drains should be removed, YES! And maybe my pathology report will be in. I'm not expecting any surprises. I have NO regrets on having my left breast removed. I am releived I'm healing so well though. Jeff was changing my bandages last night and was making me laugh so much (as he always does). He called himself "Jeffrey Permenente"! OMG. I'm still laughing about that one. Jeff, you are PERFECT! In sickness and in health . . . you are there for me! I love you!!
If you click on the title "simple things . . . you'll be link to an amazing video: Asilomar Sonata Music Video from The Shift Soundtrack

Dr. Wanye W. Dyer (i sware the man is talking to me): "Meditation gives you an opportunity to come to know your invisible self. It allows you to empty yourself of the endless hyperactivity of your mind, and to attain calmness. It teaches you to be peaceful, to remove stress, to receive answers where confusion previously reigned..."

"Before you start your day, or just before your head and pillow meet, take a moment to find peace with the beautiful Asilomar Sonata."

Hope you all have a peacefull day. I will. No doubt about that. Time for a nap <3

Monday, July 27, 2009

Hot day in the big city.

What a day. Mom and Dad took me to Urban Solice for lunch(thanks Lane for turning me on to that place). Yummy. All day I've been feeling buzzed, and really worn out. Had long naps. It was difficult to say bye to my parents, they headed back to 29 Palms late this afternoon. Thanks mom and dad for all your support! I loved every minute of your visit!

I needed my hair washed terribly. Nolan did the job. Not only did he do an amazing job, he was very gentle. Brought tears to my eyes. Then we sat outside and he brushed my hair. While we sat outside, enjoying the moment, he came up with a very cool idea. He grabbed a bunch of tiny rocks and formed a heart. Then he asked me to take one of the rocks and "make a wish". I did. He did the same. Then he took the two rocks and buried them and outlined the area w/ the rocks used to form the heart. Took my breath away.

Tate just got home from soccer practice. The boys have been amazing through all this. I'm one lucky mama! I had asked the boys to watch Pretty in Pink w/ me, so they could see Ducky (Alan from 2 1/2 Men). Tate watched the movie w/ me, even though it was not an action packed movie. Meant a lot to kick it w/ my boys. Man, I loved that movie back in the 80's. Great sound track!

"All of your tomorrows are well taken care of. Have faith and trust that your needs will always be met, now and in the future." Doreen Virtue


Saturday, July 25, 2009

I'm home!

Before I go to bed, I wanted to tell you all how grateful I am. You ALL have made me feel like "super woman". The loving, warm, healing, beautiful energy is flowing all around me. Thank you, Thank you! Mary, thank you for your great post yesterday. I had a great time with you getting our toes done w/ you and Lara!

Check out this video link (clink on title) Michelle sent to me. I love you!!!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Nancy's in her hospital room resting from successful surgery!

Hi everyone, this is Mary, Nancy's twin sister. Nanc asked me to update her blog for her, so I will do my best.

First the good news: Nancy's surgery started around 5:15 and was over around 7:45-8:00. Dr. Ressa said the surgery went well, and she's going to be okay. Not sure when she'll be released yet, some time tomorrow, I assume.

I just got home from a brief visit with Nancy & Jeff after her surgery, post op recovery and just being wheeled into her room (11:00pm) to get settled in for the night. Even though she was pretty groggy, in true Nancy form, she still wanted to make sure Mom and Dad were okay. :-)

I just got to say, "Nancy, you are my hero. You are the most thoughtful, caring and loving person I know, I'm blessed to be your sister"

Nanc and I hung out all day. We ate breakfast together... although she wasn't hungry, she managed to eat some oatmeal & a bit of banana. But of course, shortly after her "eat all you want until 9:00am" time frame had expired, she was hungry. We laughed about that. We went out and got our toes done. She'll be sending a pic of that I'm sure, when she's feeling up to it.

Thank you to all her wonderful friends! It means so much to her to read your comments and know that you care about her and are praying for her. Anyway, I'm exhausted, I'm off to bed. Love & hugs to everyone from Nancy.

Take care, mz marz

Big Day!

Thank you Lane for this poem and sweet message:

A love poem from Rumi on this day that celebrates you and Jeff.
My wish for the two of you is that you both are able to find beauty in this day.
Celebrate your love and commitment to each other.
With much love. Lane

Do You Love Me?
A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
Than you love me?
The beloved replied
I have died to myself
And I live for you.
I’ve disappeared from myself
And my attributes.
I am present only for you.
I have forgotten all my learnings,
But from knowing you
I have become a scholar.
I have lost all my strength,
But from your power
I am able.
If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

I don't feel any fear this beautiful morning. Still anxious and READY. All of my friends healing energy is surrounding me, like a blanket, feels amazing. I love you! I will post (or Jeff will) how things went sometime tomorrow. Nancy

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Count down to Surgery

Jeff took this picture almost 16 years ago, our honeymoon, Bora Bora. First time the girls saw the light of day. I figured, this is how people roll in the Tahiti so why not? Smile. Felt good. You can't tell it's me. I'm putting my hair in a bun.
Tomorrows the big day. I'm still scare, anxious and READY!
Wedding Anniversary: July 24, 1993 I love you Jeff!
Michelle sent me this link from "so you think you can dance" show. Wow. Powerful, inspiring dance. Thanks for passing it along to me. Check this out!

I hope you all know that I'm reading all your comments - thank you! I love it! You all have my back and are so supportive!
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us” – Emerson
Sending you peace my dear friend. Lane

"Let healing energies fill your life, and tranquil moments renew your soul." Thanks Kathleen!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Daily Affirmation

Thoughts are an important part of our inner wisdom. And they are powerful. A thought held long enough and repeated enough becomes a belief. A belief then becomes our biology. Beliefs are energetic forces that create the physical basis for our individual lives and our health.

By Dr. Christiane Northrup

Friday is the big day.

Surgery is set for 5pm. Should take 2.5 hours. Ressa says I'll stay the night in the hospital. Both girls will go. I'm feeling scare, anxious and READY.

This may be wishful thinking but I'm hoping to visit either Cave Creek (w/ the boys) a week after my surgery or head up to 29 Palms. I love the desert, heat and all. And being with family will help me heal quicker.

Here's a great message I received today from my dear friend, Lane:

Here's your card for the day from my Doreen Virtue "Saints and Angels" oracle card deck:
I pulled the card "Pray"

Here's the definition that's in the book:
The answer to your question involves prayer. You're being guided to pray about the situation in order to elicit answers and assistance. Your guardian angels pray with you, asking for Divine intervention to help you and your loved ones.

Your life purpose involves prayer as well. Your entreaties are strong and powerful, and the world needs them. Your guardian angels ask you to amplify the volume and rate of your supplications for this situation. Prayer is extremely effective, so by engaging in this practice, you're making a tremendous contribution.
Take the time right now to stop and pray from your heart. The words that you use aren't important compared to your sincere desire to connect with the Divine.
Be open to a response appearing different from your expectations---and know that your prayers are heard and answered.

Thinking about you my dear friend and sending you my love, prayers and positive energy. It’s a journey, and you’ll get through it and come out the end a more beautiful spiritual being.
Have a peaceful day.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Daily Affirmations

I accept myself and create peace in my mind and heart. - Louise Hay

Monday, July 20, 2009

Oncology and Surgery Date

I met my Oncologist today. Learned a lot. Feeling a bit overwhelmed. Need time to absorb it all in my coconut. :-) On a light note: My dr. reminds me of Daniel Day Lewis . . . but he's older and has no accent. I might just have to watch Room w/ a View tonight.

Surgery Date: Friday night around 5pm. Will have exact schedule later this week. Ressa said he'd take both the girls (those are - of course - my words). But feels I should just have one removed at this time.

I'll write more when my head stops spinning.

Love you!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Random pictures

Me and Jeff, 49 Palms, Thanksgiving 2008

Me and Dad, overlooking 29 Palms, Thanksgiving 2008

You see . . . Wine IS good for you! :-)

Wine may help cancer patients handle radiation
Study shows a glass a day might also reduce treatment’s adverse effects

Click on a topic to learn more:
Breast cancer
Prostate cancer

A glass of wine a day may help breast cancer patients better tolerate radiation therapy and reduce its adverse effects, according to a new study by an Italian medical university.
The study, released on Wednesday, said polyphenols found in wine may help protect healthy tissues from the effects of radiation while combating cancerous cells.
The research was carried out on 348 women treated for breast cancer between 2003 and 2007 at the radiotherapy and palliative care unit of the Catholic University of Campobasso.

The study at the southern university showed that moderate daily consumption of wine was associated with a 75 percent reduction of skin lesions compared to those who did not drink wine.
"Our data are to be taken with caution as our study was an observational one," said Alessio Morganti, director of the radiotherapy unit.
"A formal randomized trial should now be performed. Establishing the role of wine and its non-alcoholic components is certainly a crucial issue that may open a new way for the preventive use of antioxidants," he said.
The full study is due to be published online in the
International Journal of Radiation Oncology Biology Physics.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Here's the scoop . . .

Her2 status: 0 = NEGATIVE!
Chest Xray: Clean!
Oncology Appointment: Monday, 11am
Surgery: Next week; date not set but will most likely be in the evening one night next week

Saw Ressa this morning, he drained me a little bit - that was a relief. He gave me the results on my chest xray. Whew. . . Then when I got to work, Jasmine (breast care coordinator) gave me my Her2 status. Negative means that my cancer is not fast growing. Triple WHEW! Finally, I'm receiving encouraging news.

Met an amazing lady last night. She's been there, done that. I will learn a lot from her. Again, I'm so grateful to all my family, friends and brand new friends!

Keep the positive energy flowing! I FEEL IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you all!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

still waiting. . .

. . . turns out they didn't get a viable piece of tissue to test my Her2 status. They sent another specimen to the lab today and will test tonight. Should have results tomorrow.

Dr. Ressa should call me today to let me know about my chest xray and go over what he and my oncologist recommend. Still, can't make any decision until the Her2 results are in.

Great news, I'm now in touch with a person who had ILC (invasive lobular carcinoma). Get this, she even had Ressa as her surgeon! Wow. I can't wait to meet her. Tonight, we'll get together for coffee and compare notes. I'm so grateful! Thank you AMY!!!!!!!

That's it for now. Mom and Dad, I hope you're having a blast in Washington DC!

Love you all!


“Never look back and regret, look back and smile at what you have learned.” Michelle C Ustaszeski

Monday, July 13, 2009

feeling good about my new doctor . . .

What a day. And I'll know a lot more on Wednesday . . . I know, more waiting. It's cool, at least I feel like things are moving in the right direction.

Today, Doctor says he recommends Chemotherapy ASAP. However, if I qualify for the Avastin Clinical Study, then that would be one reason to have surgery now. Confusing . . . I know.

In a nut shell, the way I understand it . . . if I'm Her2 Negative, I qualify for the Avastin Clinical Study. I have surgery 1st, get clean margins, heal then start chemo/Avastin. Here's a link the Avastic study:

If I test positive for Her2, then I'll start Chemo ASAP, maybe as soon as 7/28. Then have surgery. here's a link to a different clinical study for Her2 Positive:

Her2 information:

I had a chest xray today. Will have blood work done tomorrow to check my liver as well as other areas. Wednesday, all this will help decide what treatment I should go foward with.

I'm overwhelmed right now with all this. I will research more tomorrow.


Sunday, July 12, 2009

Quotes that speak to me . . .

Your soul—that inner quiet space—is yours to consult. It will always guide you in the right direction. - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Send out love and harmony, put your mind and body in a peaceful place, and then allow the universe to work in the perfect way that it knows how. - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Saturday, July 11, 2009

how to post a comment . . .

Once you sign up for blogger (google), you'll then have a username and password. You'll see an envelope and a comment area (where it reads: 0 comments) at the bottom of each blog posting. To leave a comment . . . type up your comment then you'll see a drop down menu "comment as" on which account to use, select Google. Then login. Comment will post.

Let me know if you have any trouble.


Friday, July 10, 2009

Me and Mary - day before surgery!

My neighbor had this prayer quilt made for me. I love this quilt so much, gives me a lot of comfort.

Message from Milk Dud Warrior

I love that, Milk Dud Warrior! Thanks Monique!

Oncology appointment is set for July 27, 2009. Yes.

I'm feeling good. Pain is subsiding. Slept well last night. Positive thoughts, good energy around me!

“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.” Thaddeus Golas (Thanks, Mychael)


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Seeking 2nd opinion on treatment. . .

yesterday was a rough day. I decided it was time to call another doctor w/ KP to see if I am on the right path towards complete wellness. So, I emailed the doctor who took Nolan's appendix out a few weeks ago. He had his nurse call me soon after I sent the email. He wants to see me, thinks surgery should be postponed and chemo should start ASAP. Appointment is scheduled for this Monday at 3pm. I'm keeping my surgery date, just in case. This other doctor put in an urgent request for me to be assigned an oncologist, s/h back from oncology any day now.

I spoke to a dear friend yesterday who is going to forward on my pathology report to some excellent doctors. Can't tell you how grateful I am about this. Right now I have two really different recommendations and having these other excellent surgeons weigh in is priceless. Thank you!!!

Another dear friend told me that by now I should have had a chest xray, blood work and a PET scan. I will call KP today and request these things. I've been requesting an MRI since I found out about Milk Dud. . . w/ no luck. Time to put on my really demanding and assertive pants! I pity the fool who doesn't grant me these tests. Smile!!!!!

Love you all! Thanks for your postings! Your energy is flowing all around me!!!


Wednesday, July 8, 2009

The fight continues . . .

So. . . today I met w/ my surgeon. The news is not real good but I know I will beat this, I just know it.

I need another surgery. I need clear margins and in this case, it didn't happen (which I understand is kind of common). Here's a breif discription of margin info:
Getting the Message About Surgical MarginsIllustration © Pam Stephan
What Are Surgical Margins?
When your tumor is biopsied or surgically removed, your surgeon takes out more than just the tumor –- some tissue around the tumor is also taken. This border of tissue between the outer edge of the sample and the tumor is called the surgical margin. After your surgeon removes the tissue, it is carefully enclosed in a container and sent to the pathology lab. The pathologist uses a special ink to cover the outer edge of the entire tissue sample. Then the sample is sliced into thin sections and examined under a microscope. The edges, as well as the margins, are checked to see if any cancer cells have strayed outside the tumor and, if so, how far they have gone.
What's next? July 21st - I am scheduled for a double mastectomy. Yep. Both my girls are going. The benefit for removing my left as well as my right breast outweight the negative. So, I'm wrapping my mind around having the girls gone. The surgery is once again, outpatient. Recovery will take around a week or two. Then once I'm fully healed, I'll start Chemotherapy (and possibly Radiation). I should be assigned to an Oncologist any day now.

My milk dud was larger than anyone thought it would be. 2.5cm x 2.5cm x 2cm
17 lymph nodes taken and 6 of those tested positive (cancer cells)

OK. I need a break from all this cancer talk! So, on my way back to work I stopped and had a very much needed pedicure! And it was just what I needed!

Please keep positive energy flowing my way! I can feel the love!!!!!! Your prayers, thoughts, cards, letters, phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. . . are really giving me strength to get through this!!!!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Another great quote by Doreen Virtue <3

Be grateful for those who have opened the door before you, for they have shown you new possibilities.

I love this quote!!!!!

Healing, when properly understood, merely means casting a firm decision in the direction of your higher self's priorities. By Doreen Virtue

Friday, July 3, 2009

Get Inspired!
by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Start Living an Inspired Life Today
There is a voice in the Universe urging us to remember our purpose for being on this great Earth. This is the voice of inspiration, which is within each and every one of us.

Power Thoughts
by Louise L. Hay
Power Up Your Day with the Wisdom of Louise Hay!
Trust life to hear and respond to your positive words. Say these affirmations every day and your whole world will change for the better.
View »
A daily dose of wisdom.
Enjoy the power of affirmations

Daily Guidance from Your Angels
by Doreen Virtue
The Angels Have a Message for You!
Each day, angel expert and lifelong clairvoyant Doreen Virtue will bring you powerful healing messages and guidance about your life purpose, relationships, world events, and more - directly from your angels. Let the angels' beautiful energies guide you on a healing path for the day.
View »

Women's Wisdom
by Dr. Christiane Northrup
Your Vibrant Health Begins Now!
Wake up all the desire and pleasure that your body is capable of experiencing, let your past go, and follow your bliss just for the health of it.
View »

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The tumor in my right breast was removed during surgery, as was some tissue around it, the 'sentinal gland', and additional lymph nodes. (The 'sentinel gland' is the first lymph node to receive lymphatic drainage from a tumor and the surgeon looks to this gland to determine if the tumor has potentially spread. My surgeon determined from this gland that more lymph nodes should be removed, and did so.)

It was hoped that only the tumor and sentinal gland would need to be removed, and it is disappointing that the sentinel gland showed signs of spreading. However, having said that, it could very well be that the surgeon has now removed all traces of the spread and the problem is solved.

At this early stage, it appears I may be in for some chemo as well as radiation. Another test will determine exactly what the course of action should be, and the results from that test won't be known for another week or so.

Thanks for your prayers and positive thoughts. My post op appointment w/ my surgeon is Wednesday morning. Hopefully the drain will be removed at that time. Fingers crossed. Should hear from Oncology in a week or so.