Thursday, October 29, 2009

Check in

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer "To acheive success in all areas, shift your consciousness to an appreciation for all you are and all that you're blessed to have."

What are you grateful for today, at this very moment?  


I know what I'm grateful for, I have a huge list but on top of that list is Family, Friends, and Chemo.  

It's Thursday night.  Phillies vs. Yankees.  I want to see another WIN!  Lets go PHILLIES!  I'm feeling better.  Today has been my best day so far this week.  My chemo fog is slowly drifting away.  Another thing to be grateful for.
I received some more cards this week, I'm so touched.  I don't think a week has gone by without receiving a few cards!  You should see my collection.  I should take a picture of my card basket!  The cards, messages, comments, hugs, healing energy you all send me are priceless.  I keep telling you that, and I sound like a broken record, I know. . . I'm just say'n!  I LOVE LOVE LOVE the support!  smile.

We're in for a fun weekend.  I'm looking forward to seeing my boys play soccer and baseball and then have some Halloween fun!  Hope your weekend is perfect!  

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

U2 - ONE - Rose Bowl 2009

Black Eyed Peas - Sweet Child of Mine

It's Tuesday. . .


Sure is a chilly day in San Diego.  It's Tuesday, and I thought for sure, by now, I'd be feeling well.  Not yet.  Usually Sundays/Mondays are my worst after chemo but this time, it has spread out 3 days so far.  I'm waiting for the feel well switch to be flipped.  

Last weekend was amazing and relaxing.  Sunday, Mary drove me and my boys up to LA.  Mom and Dad arrived a few hours after we checked in to the hotel.  Mom and I laid around the hotel while Mary, the boys and Dad headed to the Rose Bowl for the much anticipated U2 Concert!!!  Over 95k people were expected.  U2, as promised, had a LIVE video stream of the show!  Wow, what a show!  U2 nailed it, like they always do.  Mom and I had the best seats in the house, Embassy Suites most comfortable beds!!!!!!  I dosed in and out but Mom stayed tuned in for the entire 2+ hour show!  The boys will never forget this concert.  1st time seeing U2.  Going with Poppy and Aunt Mary.  Priceless!  Lucky kids!  Thanks Dad and Mary for taking my boys.  They had a BLAST!!!!!!  Thanks Mom for hanging with me at the hotel!  I loved every minute!  June 6, 2010!  U2 Returns and I'll be ready to party this time!  

I'm going back to bed.  Love you.  


Saturday, October 24, 2009

I release the past with ease and trust the process of life. - Louise Hay

Friday, October 23, 2009

Sometimes the body heals simply from giving yourself permission to listen to its messages. - Dr. Christiane Northrup

Thursday, October 22, 2009

4th round, CHECK!

My fourth round went pretty well.  The nurse had a difficult time starting the IV but after two tries, she gave up.  Then another nurse (Randi's favorite) came over and saved the day.  Didn't hurt at all.  My wrist is still swollen from the first two tries.  It's OK.  Nothing a little ice won't fix.

So, after I post this, I will cross off the fourth round.  I love crossing those dates off.  Two more to go!!!!!!

I was up at 3am this morning.  Just like the morning before round 3.  But I did manage to get back to sleep at 5:30 for a 1/2 hour.  I just woke up from a nice nap.  Felt good.

This morning my day was started off right with a wonderful visit with Wendy.  Although it was a short visit, it was just what I needed, along w/ a decaf pumpkin spice latte and sausage breakfast sandwich from Starbucks.  Thanks Wendy!  Love you!

Thank you Jeff for being there for me today.  It was another long day. . . but you helped me get through it with your great attitude and humor.  Time flies when you're with me!  I love that you are there with me for every infusion.  Right by my side.  I love you!  

Mary stopped by the Chemo Cafe for a visit today.  Thanks for making the trip down.  I loved our visit very much and I look forward to Sunday.  Although I'll be down, resting with mom at the hotel, I'll be worry free knowing that you are filling my shoes and taking my boys to the U2 concert with Dad.  You all are going to have a blast!  For all you U2 fans, you can view Sunday's concert on YouTube!  It's True!  Click on the Title to be directed to the Youtube/U2 link.  Mom and I plan to tune in at the hotel!  Plus, I think U2 is filming this show to go on a DVD.  how cool is that?  I had been looking forward to this show for months now.  And knowing that I can tune in, makes me very happy.

Thank you for all your comments, cards, well wishes, healing energy and prayers.  They lift me up, I know I'm loved.  I'm grateful for all the support I have around me.

Go Phillies!  Owen, you must be so proud!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Very few human beings are actually where they are, rooted in the presence of now. They are continuously reaching out for more. They're being pulled out of now, which is all there ever is-life itself. Nothing else ever exists except now.  - Eckhart Tolle

Monday, October 19, 2009

Sunday, October 18, 2009

60 Minutes tonight

Happy Sunday,

I plan to tune in to 60 minutes tonight.  Click on the title to get a preview.  Looks promising for cancer research.  Also, there's a story about H1N1.  

So far, so good.  We're all feeling well.  Tate's cough didn't keep him up last night.  Nolan has a baseball game today at 12n.  Looking forward to getting out and watching my boy play ball.

Life truly does give back, many times over, what you put into it.  - Maya Angelou



Saturday, October 17, 2009

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Go within to the peaceful solitude of your mind. It is there that you will discover God.  - Dr. Wayne Dyer

Good morning!

Tate is feeling so much better.  His cough sounds bad but he seems to have more energy today.  Love it.  I don't think Tate has ever missed a soccer game, until this morning.  Dr. gave him Tamiflu yesterday.  Seems kinda late in the game to start this medicine but I trust his dr.  She said it won't hurt him and that he should give it a try. 

So far, Tate is the only one that has come down w/ the flu in our family.   Knock on wood!  I'm feeling well.  Ready for round #4.  Bring it!

I received my free scarf/wrap in the mail this week!  I love it!  It's so pretty!  The fantastic people from L. Erickson USA - Good Wishes are amazing people.  Not only did I receive the very cool wrap, they also included a get well card that they all signed with inspiring messages!  Wow, I don't even know these people and they all (around 10 of them) took the time to send me well wishes.  Love it!  That meant so much!    

It's HOT in San Diego.  Love this Fall weather!  :-)

Go Phillies!!!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Tamiflu or no Tamiflu, what to do???

Hi all,

Tate is still fever free today.  Looks like the boy will return to school tomorrow.  He'll have a lot of catching up, that's for sure.  So great to see him feeling better.  He's still coughing but that's it.

I went to KP today and got in their face, literally.  Felt kinda like a stalker!  Smile.  I wanted answers though and they weren't returning my call in a timely manner so I got my "happy pants" in the car and took a drive to KP.  

My new Oncologist thinks I've missed the boat, assuming my cough I've had since Friday is the Flu, which I doubt it is.  So, he thinks it's pointless to take Tamiflu.  A second doctor, who I caught trying leave the office to have his lunch, smile, was really helpful.  He just might be my new oncologist!  Back to the second dr.  He took me into an exam room, and accessed my record.  After hearing my story, he said that he would recommend Tamiflu to me if I were his patient.  So, we have a tie.  I called my Oncologist who moved up to SanMarcos and he recommends I take Tamiflu at the 1st sign of the flu.  Flu Watch 2009.  Stay tuned.  So far, so good.  No fever.  Cough is going away.  No more runny nose.  I have my Tamiflu and I'll take it if needed.

Please continue to send your healing energy and love my way!  


Checking in

Good morning.  Tate woke up with 99.5 temp.  Better than yesterday morning, that's for sure.  He says on a scale from 1-10, he's at a 6+.  He was at a 4 yesterday.  His temp now is normal - it has been normal since 8:30am  Yes!  So grateful he's feeling better!  He just might return to school tomorrow!    

I'm still waiting to hear from my oncologist.  It's been recommended I start Tamaflu by my Primary Dr.  I have a prescription waiting for me to fill.  The irony is . . . I have been in touch w/ my Oncologist since Friday.  Looks like if he would have recommended Tamaflu on Monday or even yesterday - when I saw him!!!! and when I asked many times "what proactive measures can I take to avoid getting this virus that I've been exposed to???" - I would be in a better position to dodge this flu bullet.  I'm annoyed, to say the least.

Here's some info on Tamaflu:

When you or someone in your family begins to experience flu symptoms, you have 48 hours to take action. Trust TAMIFLU, the number-one prescribed antiviral flu medicine*:
  • For flu treatment: When taken within two days of experiencing symptoms, TAMIFLU works by helping to stop the flu virus from spreading inside the body
  • For flu prevention: When you have been exposed to someone with the flu, taking TAMIFLU can help keep the virus from making you sick
TAMIFLU is not a substitute for the flu shot; vaccination is the first line of defense for flu protection.

TAMIFLU is Effective for Children and Adults

In flu treatment studies of patients who took TAMIFLU within 48 hours of the first appearance of symptoms:
  • Adults felt better 30 percent faster (1.3 days) than flu patients who did not take TAMIFLU
  • Children felt better up to 26 percent faster (1.5 days) than flu patients who did not take TAMIFLU
TAMIFLU is indicated for the treatment and prevention of influenza in people 1 year and older.
Flu strains may vary from area to area, so if you are exposed to a strain of the flu that is not the same strain as the one your flu shot protects against, you may still get the flu.
Good thoughts, healing energy is needed - BIG TIME!  I feel OK at the moment.  Just tired and a cough.  

I am well.  

Eleanor Roosevelt - "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." 

Love you.

Eckhart Tolle: You are not what happens; you are the space in which it happens. You are not your thoughts; they come and go. You are the vastness in which these thoughts appear and disappear because underneath all your thinking there is the stillness of pure being,... pure consciousness, the timeless dimension of yourself.

Thank you Lane for sending me this!  I love it.


Each experience in your life was absolutely necessary in order to take you to the next place, and the next, up until this very moment.  Dr. Wayne Dyer

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Rainy day in San Diego

Good morning,

Tate is still sick.  Fever holding at 102.  Nurse called me back yesterday saying not to worry. This fever may last another day or so.  He has his moments when his temp is 99.9 but most of the time its 101-102.  He's eating and drinking a lot of fluids.

I'm feeling ok.  Dr. wants me to have some blood work done as well as a chest xray today.   

Burr. . . it's COLD!  Love it!

I have a HUGE favor. . . please say a prayer for our friend Cindy.  She's been fighting the fight for a long time now.  Sending healing energy and prayers her way would be appreciated. Happy Belated Birthday Girl!  Love you!!!!!

Have a peaceful day!


Love you!

Monday, October 12, 2009


"Happiness, fulfillment, and purpose in life are all inner concepts. If you don’t have inner peace and serenity, then you have nothing."  Dr. Wayne Dyer

Good morning,

I'm home, sick with a cold.  Tate is home as well.  His cold came back . . . fever and all.  Dr thinks the fever will be on and off for the next couple of days.  I have the Purell and Clorox wipes by my side.  I will not get what Tate has.  

The weekend was a lazy one.  I saw Nolan's soccer game on Saturday and then that was it.  Tate skipped his game yesterday, and I stayed home with Tate during Nolan's baseball game.  Tate and I are getting a lot of rest.

This past session, #3, went well.  One thing is for sure, the feeling bad feeling is getting more intense and lasting a little bit longer.  

I've not been to a Target in so long.  I miss my Target!  I know, that's random.  But I do, I really do miss Target.

I'm looking forward to Oct. 22.  I want to knock #4 off the list!!!!!  Mary and I are going up to LA on Sunday, 10/25 with Tate and Nolan.  Mary's taking the boys and Dad to see U2 and Black Eyed Peas while Mom and I cuddle in the hotel, watching movies and napping.  Looks like Dad may have scored some RedZone passes!  Way to go Dad!  The boys can't wait for the concert!  Mary, thanks for taking my boys.

Just saw this on TV.  Pat's Breast Cancer Story.  Click on the title to see it.  Pretty amazing.

Gotta rest.


Friday, October 9, 2009

Halloween 2008

Oh my! Look how much Nolan has changed! I miss his long locks. Smile.

Looking forward to Halloween! It's just around the corner

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Thank you Lane!  This is my daily affirmation.  <3
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Daily Affirmation - Dr. Wayne Dyer


"You’ve been provided with a perfect body to house your soul for a few brief moments in eternity. So regardless of its size, shape, color, or any imagined infirmities, you can honor the temple that houses you by eating healthfully, exercising, listening to your body’s needs, and treating it with dignity and love."  - Dr. Wayne Dyer

It's Friday!  Almost the weekend!  I'm grateful.  Feeling stronger every day.  Busy weekend with 3 soccer games and 1 baseball game! 

Go Phillies!!!  


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Daily Affirmation - by Dr. Christiane Northrup

"Remember that deciding to be happy and healthy requires courage and focus. It is ever so much easier to allow negativity and fear to run your life. Have courage."  - by Dr. Christiane Northrup

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Waking up to Fireflies . . .

I woke up to this song this morning. . . and it was the most perfect way to start my day.  Finally,  the feel well switch was flipped.  YES!  (click on title)

Have a peaceful night!


Monday, October 5, 2009

Daily Affirmation - by Dr. Christiane Northrup

"The heart has an electromagnetic field that is 60 times larger than the electromagnetic field of the brain. When you feel love and appreciation in your heart, your heart beat stabilizes- and this energy livens and heals your entire body" -by DR. CHRISTIANE NORTHRUP

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Avastin Breast Cancer Trial Enrollment Halted

I had heard last week about this, but just got around to researching it.  I feel like I made the right decision on declining on the Avastin study.  Just was not meant to be.

Daily Affirmation - by Dr. Christiane Northrup

"It is essential for your health to find a few things every day that you really appreciate. You can make it mundane things: your shoes, the face of a good friend, a clean bathroom in a gas station. The more you appreciate, the more good things will be attracted into your life, including good health!"

I'm not feeling like myself this weekend.  I'm almost afraid to post on my blog b/c I'm not thinking clearly.  This will pass though.  By Tuesday, I'll be feeling much better.  

I slept last night, much better than the nights before.  The wired feeling is fading.  I feel shaky now; dizzy.  Tate and I watched "What about Bob" last night.  Funny.  baby steps!  Just what I needed!  Thanks Jolie and Dave.  Tate said it reminded him of  Pink Panther movies and also Sponge Bob Square Pants; Bob is Patrick and Dr. Leo is Squidward.  I agree!  Nolan went to the Haunted Trail with friends.  He had a blast.

Friends from work have been bringing us dinners every night for the past 3 nights.  We are so lucky to have such amazing support.  I just hope everyone knows how much we appreciate everything!!!!!  

have a peaceful day.


Friday, October 2, 2009

Being Breast Cancer Awareness Month and all . . .

I wanted to share my story, before my diagnosis.  The day I felt "milk dud".  I was chatting at the ball field with a dear friend who told me of a lump she had and that she was going to have it looked at.  That prompted me to do a self examination, that evening, in the shower.  Since I  have yearly mammograms I didn't think for a minute I would find anything.  But I did, I felt the lump on my right breast (3 o'clock) side.  Felt like the size of a tootsie roll.  Seriously.  and it felt imbedded.  I waited a month before getting it checked out.  Why?  Well, it just didn't seem possible for me to have breast cancer. . . but I still worried. . .

Friday before Memorial Day weekend, I showed Jeff and he said "you haven't had that check out???".  You see, I've always been really proactive about my health, sorta neurotic.  So this surprised him, me too.  I made an appointment right away.  Was seen on Tuesday, the day after Memorial Day.  I saw a breast care specialist.  I decided not to tell her where I thought the problem was.  Have her find it on her own.  She found it quick.  She recommended I have a mammogram as soon as possible.  That Thursday, I had my mammogram (second one in 8 months).  The tech could feel the lump but it didn't show up on mammogram.  They sent me down the hall to have an ultrasound.  The tech doing the ultrasound seemed concerned.  I asked him what he thought, knowing he couldn't tell me much. . . but he did, in so many words.  I just knew it was bad when he said "if you were my mom, sister, or best friend, I'd be very happy you were here today".  Then the mammogram tech came in w/ tears in her eyes and gave me a huge hug.  They ended up doing a core biopsy right then and there.  They left a marker on my lump and then tried to take another mammogram image.  The marker showed up but the lump didn't.  

I got the results on Monday, June 1st.  Invasive Lobular Carcinoma.  It's common for this type of cancer to not show up on mammogram.  Plus I had really dense breasts.  That made it difficult to find anything suspicious sooner.

If you have any lumps or bumps, please have them checked.  If you have any strange sensation on your breast, which I did the week I had my mammogram Oct. 08, get it checked out.  It was recommended back in Oct 08 that I follow up with more testing on my right breast because of the pain I was having.  But when that letter arrived, the pain was gone.  So, I didn't schedule an appointment.  I've forgiven myself.  I've let that guilt go.  It probably would not have made much of a difference.  The surgeon mentioned I may have had milk dud for around 7 years.  

OK.  That's it, in a nut shell.  Listen to your body.  Have your yearly mammograms!  Do regular self exams.  

My dear friend, who I mentioned earlier is fine.  She had a lumpectomy and the lump was not cancer.  Thank goodness.  She's my angel though.  I would have found the lump, at some point but her sharing her story inspired me to check myself.  

Love you!

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month - check out this article

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! Check out Dr. Northrup's new In the News article on Thermography, a less invasive approach to screening that shows cellular activity and inflammation as heat.

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

3rd round went smoothly. Best one so far!

Yes, it's true!  Jeff and I arrived at 10am for my 10:15 appointment.  The chemo cafe was PACKED with people.  They finally had a chair for me around 11am.  Was all hooked up by 11:30.  I was unhooked around 2:30.  Only 3 hours of drip!  Not bad!  The pre-dose of the Benedril did the trick.  My chair was not  the one I wanted so I had my crabby pants on tight over that.  They put in the only available chair which was far, far away from the nurses station.  After the nurse reassured me she'd stay by my side, I mellowed out.  She offered to put me on a gurney, right next to the nurses station but I declined.  No TV if you sit there!  Just kidding.  I had a new nurse, Angela.  She was terrific.  Carol S., I cuddled up in the beautiful quilt you made me!  It kept me warm and cozy.  All the nurses loved it.  Thank you!

I'm on top of the MOUNTAIN!  Click on the title to see Kelly Clarkson and Jeff Beck perform Up to the Mountain.  Love it!  Goose-bump good.  Jeff was fantastic, holding my hand, reassuring me, keeping me calm.  Thanks baby!  I love you.

Jill visited today.  She and her family live in Italy now and she's out for a short vacation.  Jill!  It was fantastic seeing you!  

Feeling pretty tired right now, time for a nap.  Oh, I just noticed something funny.  My last chemo cocktail is on 12/3.  123.  three more sessions.  I know, I'm tired.   LOL!

Thanks for your loving healing energy and prayers!  They worked!

Love you!

Thursday morning . . .

Big day.  Woke up at 3am, ready for my next round of steroids, to get my body prepared for the chemo cocktail.  I slept really well last night.  Just wish I could have stayed a sleep a little bit longer.  O'well.  Taking advantage of the morning.  

Check out these pictures of my niece, Taylor, riding over the summer at Eventing Competitions.  Brings back great memories.  Keep up the great work Taylor!

Thanks for your extra loving energy boost yesterday.  Last night, I felt it.  Today is a big day, I want the process to begin, the drip to start, the nurses standing by, listening to Colette Baron-Reid Meditation on my ipod (thank you Lane), holding Jeff's hand.  My friend Jill is in town for a quick visit and she's going to come by to see me today at KP.  Can't wait to see her and catch up.  I'm expecting this session to last 4 hours or so.  I'll post later today letting you all know that all is well.  :-)

"Life truly does give back, and many times over, what you put into it."  ~ Maya Angelou

"Never forget how amazing you are, and have faith that the power within you can create the life you want."

Thanks you all for your comments, emails, phone calls, text messages, cards - they keep flowing and continue to lift me up and give me strength!

Not sure why, but track #31 is helping me start my day off right, making me want to dance.  I know, it's a bit techno and 80's style so not all of you will like it.  But it sure is putting a smile on face.  It's my song for today.  Bullet Proof.  

Imagine your sexuality as holy and sacred, a gift from the same Source that created the ocean, the waves, and the stars. - Dr. Christiane Northrup